The conversation

My P90x tapes are collecting dust on my television stand. I tried it for a week and i was so distraught and disgusted at the fact that the "warm up" wore me out! And that was 20 minutes of jumping around. You can forget the actual exercising portion. I was beat up! Yet, I know it works. I see the proof. I look at my friend Margie and I am envious. Green with envy! She was able to commit and produce the results. I got confused over the nutrition part and got side tracked with the excitement of buying new workout gear. Then everytime i stepped up to begin the workout... I became embarrassed! My 9 year old son would come and show me that he could do 10 push ups and people were constantly walking by the living room with a confused look. Then SELF DOUBT showed up and she quickly SHUT ME DOWN!!!! My head is saying you can do it... but my heart has a HUGE DISCONNECT!!!!!! Not to mention the occasional friend who suggest to 'borrow the tapes' since I'm apparently not using them! '

Now, P90X looms over me like a FAILED MISSION. But i haven't given up ...yet!!! I plan my attack on a smaller scale. I now know that 20 minutes of warm up followed by 30-40 minutes of push ups/pull ups isn't exactly where my body is at the moment. I know that i can build my stamina and still use the tapes. I cant give up on me... i know i want to be fit and i want to run that PEACHTREE ROAD RACE.......

P90X will not defeat me! I understand I am in my wilderness! But i plan on seeing Canaan and when i get there that fit girl inside of all this chubby cuteness will be on the outside... 

"And Jesus said unto them ... , "If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to younder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible to you."
Romans 1:17